Is Your Child Ready for a Phone? Experts Share What Parents Should Know

“Can I please get a phone?”

“But I need a way to stay in contact with you…”

“But I’m the last to know what my friends are texting about…”

“But everyone else in my class has a phone…”

If you have a child approaching the tween years, these comments may sound familiar. For parents who grew up in the analog era, the question is no longer just when to give a child a phone—but how to do it thoughtfully.

“Even in the middle school and elementary school level, [smartphones] are a part of their daily experience and something we have to account for,” says Shawna Rader Kelly, president of the National Association of School Psychologists.

While Rader Kelly says smartphones can offer certain educational and functional benefits, she, along with other experts, caution that research indicates that introduction to them too early—and without clear guidance and guardrails—can affect aspects of a child’s development.

“When kids have access to smartphones, especially at younger ages, it can impact their sleep, their mental health, and their academic focus,” says Jasmine Hood Miller of Common Sense Media, a nonprofit research and advocacy organization focused on kids, media, and technology. “There’s also the social anxiety that comes with being very connected. When you introduce this device, you have to set proper boundaries and give guidance to help minimize those risks.”

According to Common Sense Media, the average age of getting a first phone is 11. Experts, however, are quick to point out that there is no universal “right” age. The decision depends on a child’s maturity, family needs, and the expectations parents set.

“Just like you would with crossing a street or swimming, you’ve got to put the time in so that the kid has the resources to know how to make good choices and how to be safe,” says Dr. Cori Cross, spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). “We have to systematically teach them the safest way to do it, and then we have to monitor them until we’re sure that they know what they’re doing right.”

How do I know if my child is ready for a phone?

Dr. Cross says the first step is getting clear on why your child might need—rather than simply want—a phone. “What’s the purpose of the phone?” she says, noting that the answer may range from scheduling and communication needs to social dynamics or safety considerations.

The next step, she says, is honestly assessing your child’s maturity and “good judgment” skills.

To help support parental intuition, she encourages families to take the Phone Readiness Quiz, which the AAP partnered with AT&T to create as a tool for assessing readiness.

Common Sense Media’s Parents’ Ultimate Guide to First Phones offers a similar framework, encouraging parents to consider their child’s emotional maturity, independence, and ability to handle limits before handing over a device.

Signs your child might be ready include:

• Follows rules and routines consistently
• Handles disappointment reasonably well
• Uses good judgment and asks for help when needed
• Manages responsibilities and screen time appropriately

Signs your child might need a little more time include:

• Frequently loses devices or struggles with limits
• Has difficulty managing screen time or emotions
• Often acts impulsively without considering consequences

“If your kid is not meeting some or all of those based on what you think would be them being ready, then it’s okay to wait,” says Hood Miller. “You want them to show that level of responsibility being able to follow basic rules and use good judgment.”

What should you discuss before giving your child a phone?

Experts say it’s important to involve your child in thoughtful conversations well before they get their first phone. Discussing hypothetical situations can help prepare them for the responsibility of having a device.

Parents can also lean on a few practical tools to help guide those conversations:

• The American Academy of Pediatrics offers a Family Media Plan tool that allows you to create a plan that reflects your family’s values, priorities, and lifestyle.
• Common Sense Media offers customizable Family Tech Planners that help set clear expectations for how your child will use their first device responsibly, with rules and boundaries that foster understanding and trust.

Keep the plan somewhere visible—such as on the fridge—so that expectations and consequences remain clear. Revisit and adjust the plan as your child gets older or circumstances change.

It’s also important to factor in school policies around phones and smart devices, which may differ from your family’s rules. Experts say parents can acknowledge a child’s frustrations while still emphasizing the importance of following school expectations. “We can have conversations with kids about things that they like or dislike about a policy and still comply with that policy,” says Rader Kelly.

The bigger goal, experts say, is building open communication and modeling healthy phone habits yourself. Dr. Cross says creating an environment where kids feel safe coming to their parents matters just as much as setting rules.

“Let them know that when they make a mistake, they come to you,” she says. “As they get older, if they feel that they can’t come to you, that’s when kids start going down the not telling the parents that they’re being bullied, not telling the parents that they’re being talked to by an adult or by somebody who is doing something inappropriate, not telling parents [other] things you need to know.”

Which phones are appropriate for children?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to a child’s first device. Many parents choose to ease into technology with more limited devices before introducing a full smartphone. Some popular options include:

• Smartwatches: Devices such as the Verizon Gizmo Watch 3, Apple Watch SE, and Gabb Watch 3e allow kids to call, text, and share their location with approved contacts, often with parental controls and GPS tracking.
• Basic phones: Devices such as the Gabb Phone, Bark Phone, and Pinwheel Pixel offer calling, texting, and limited app or internet access with built-in parental controls.
• Old-school flip phones: Traditional flip phones provide basic calling and texting without social media or app stores.
• A shared family smartphone: Some families keep one shared phone at home for activities, rides, or occasional communication instead of giving a child their own device.

How do you monitor phone use?

Once you hand over that first device, experts say it’s important to stay involved in how your child is managing it. Keep the swimming analogy in mind: Monitoring and guidance are part of keeping them safe and part of your responsibility as a parent.

“Sit down on a regular basis with your children and check in,” says Dr. Cross, noting that it can be a relaxed outing you look forward to together, such as grabbing ice cream.

She also recommends setting parental controls on a child’s device, including tools that can limit screen time, manage app downloads, filter content, and help parents understand how the phone is being used.

At the same time, experts say it’s important to encourage plenty of “analog” engagement with friends and the world around them. Just as kids need to learn healthy habits with technology, they also need time away from screens.

“Children learn through play, and they learn through being outside, and they learn through boredom,” says Dr. Cross. “And if you give them something that’s basically going to take all of that away, you’re depriving them of what they need in childhood.”

Parents can also lean on schools, fellow parents, and other community resources for support, says Rader Kelly. “We’re always just trying to make the next right decision,” she says. “Approaching this with grace is important because everybody’s situation is different.”