A Pre-Wedding Mother-Daughter Bonding Trip
Nuptial season proves to be the perfect time for this mother and her two daughters to spend time together


We were putting the finishing touches on my daughter’s wedding ensemble—earrings, lipstick, veil—when I left for an instant to retrieve my pashmina. I returned to find the room unexpectedly empty. Valerie must have been summoned for first-look photos before the wedding ceremony.
Suddenly, the tears that had refused to flow all those times when they were expected—at the engagement, the first wedding-gown shopping excursion, the bridal shower—came streaming down. My baby girl was moving on to a new life, and I knew that our relationship, however strong, would be changing. She would have her husband, Ben, now, and perhaps, eventually, children. This new family would come first.
And soon, I’d be facing these emotions all over again. I had six more months until my elder daughter, Katrina, would be marrying Kyle.

Two daughters, two engagements
Four years apart in age, Katrina and Valerie had become engaged within months of each other. It would be a whirlwind 18 months of planning and parties, stress and strain, joy and celebration. There would be travel back and forth between my home in Wilmington, Delaware, Katrina’s in New York City and Valerie’s in Atlanta. Our days together, with fiancés and future-in-laws and extended family, would be hurried and booked to the hilt. I longed for time with just my daughters.
I had actually hatched the perfect plan for just this years before, when Katrina and I were at a spa getaway at The Lodge at Woodloch in Hawley, Pennsylvania, in the Pocono Mountains. We’d just finished kayaking and were relaxing in Adirondack chairs by the lake. Katrina was lamenting that our time at the lodge—a AAA Four Diamond destination spa—was at its end and wishing that she could someday return. I resolved then and there that I would bring each daughter here for a mother–daughter trip before they got married. I couldn’t have imagined back then how necessary an escape from the pressure of wedding planning would be, but I did know that The Lodge at Woodloch, with just 59 guest rooms, would provide the perfect setting for an intimate getaway with my girls.
Two brides at the same time? Well, we’d all go away together. With work and travel commitments, bachelorette parties and more filling up their calendars, we settled for doing our “pre-wedding” three-day getaway in between Valerie’s and Katrina’s weddings.

Luxury in the mountains
We arrived at the lodge on a warm March afternoon just in time for lunch. A full array of wellness classes and spa treatments on offer was tempting, but we opted to spend our first afternoon relaxing and reconnecting in the 40,000-square-foot spa. There, we alternated between the sauna, eucalyptus steam room, pool and multiple hot tubs, indoors and out.
Seated on cozy chairs, drinking herbal tea and looking out floor-to-ceiling windows at our wooded surroundings, we prattled on about books we were reading and updates on the girls’ childhood friends.
That evening, Katrina and I dined on an appetizer of scallops, followed by lobster tail. Valerie, a vegetarian, opted for the mushroom risotto. The dining room, separated into three sections for more intimacy, was filled with couples, friend groups, and other mothers and daughters.
We lingered so long over dinner that we missed the guided nocturnal wildlife-spotting walk, so we did our own walkabout along the lighted paths nearest the lodge, venturing off toward the lake and some darkness to gaze up at a sky strewn with stars.

Drumsticks and paint brushes
We started off the next morning with a more extensive walk around the 500-acre grounds that took us past the on-site organic farm and orchard, where tapped maple trees had buckets hanging from them. Katrina and I wondered why the sap dripping from the tree was clear. “They have to boil it down to make it into maple syrup,” explained Valerie. She knows this because she edits YouTube videos for a farmer influencer, among others.
We cut our walk short to make it back to the lodge in time for the Drums Alive fitness class. Both more rhythmic and more fit than I, Katrina and Valerie were able to swat the exercise balls with the drumsticks in time with the music and squat more deeply. But it mattered not. We all got a good workout while having fun together.
We’d signed up for a watercolor class that evening, and while Katrina and I were excited, Valerie was less so. I think she would have been content to snuggle before the fire in one of the lounges and work on her needlepoint. But in the spirit of the trip, she agreed to join us. It was not long, though, before she was as engaged as Katrina and I. We sketched a barn, tree and rural road and painted in a wintry scene of forest, snow and cloudy skies. The chatty instructor regaled us with humorous tales of his life while teaching our class of six by demonstration, and we were all impressed that we managed to paint passable works of art.

Saunas and smiles
Too soon our third and final day arrived. We woke early for yoga and another session at the spa, this time heating up in the 180-degree Himalayan salt sauna and then cooling down in the dauntingly named Snow Room, where we sat in 20-degree temperatures surrounded by a faux tree and small mounds of manmade snow that we were encouraged to rub on ourselves. It felt surprisingly refreshing, but only Katrina braved the suggested cold bucket shower afterward.
Dressed, packed and ready to go, we gathered by our cars for good-byes. We hugged and kissed and hugged again. “You know I love your guys,” I said to Valerie. “But I love my girls more.”
Katrina, loading suitcases into her car’s trunk, caught only a snippet. “Wait. What? You love who more?”
“I was saying how much I love you both!” I said with a laugh.
They pulled away in one car, and I pulled away in mine, a smile on my face.