One bed or two?
As an LGBTQ+ traveler, I’ve been asked this question countless times when checking into hotels with my wife. Confronted with two people seemingly of the same gender (I’m nonbinary), staff frequently get flummoxed.
Awkwardness ensues. Either I insist on the room with one bed, which means coming out to a random stranger, or say nothing and get stuck with two beds that we don’t want or need.
“In the hospitality industry, the bare minimum should be making every guest feel welcomed. For the LGBTQ+ community, a big part of that is feeling safe,” says John Tanzella, president and CEO of IGLTA, the International LGBTQ+ Travel Association. “With anti-LGBTQ+ policies on the rise globally, that’s something that has become even more important.”
LGBTQ+-friendly hotels train staff to avoid the awkward questions and outdated assumptions, which means there’s no need to be guarded. You can truly relax and unwind.
Here are four tips I rely on to find a hotel where I don’t have to wonder whether I’m welcome but, instead, set at ease from the moment I check in—even when my destination has a less-than-perfect track record on LGBTQ+ rights.
Research hotel policies
Major international hotel chains including Hyatt, Hilton, and Marriott get perfect scores from LGBTQ+ civil rights organization Human Rights Campaign for inclusivity. With strong nondiscrimination policies, these hotels offer the warm welcome (and discretion, frankly) that puts LGBTQ+ travelers at ease.
Use LGBTQ+ directories
Planning a weekend getaway with my first girlfriend, I turned to The Pink Pages, an LGBTQ+ directory, to find a lesbian-owned bed-and-breakfast. As a young queer person navigating internalized homophobia, I needed the comfort and safety of an LGBTQ+-owned hotel.
The Pink Pages publishes an annual directory of queer-owned and allied businesses in North America and is still a great resource for travelers in the community.
For help finding LGBTQ-friendly hotels in every corner of the world, browse IGLTA’s Accommodations directory as well. Rainbow badges indicate properties that are IGLTA Accredited, meaning they’ve passed an eight-point audit verifying their commitment to meaningful inclusivity—not notorious Pride Month pinkwashing found in corporate America.
Check hotel websites and social media
LGBTQ+ travelers deserve much more than token Pride Month posts, though social media profiles and websites can help you screen smaller properties for LGBTQ+ inclusion.
Skim social media for queer-coded content (IYKYK). Then, follow the breadcrumbs to see whether rainbow posts lead to meaningful allyship.
This year’s WorldPride event, held in Washington, DC, is a great example. DC-area hotels are using social media to spread messages of inclusion in the weeks leading up to the main event.
At the AAA Three Diamond Kimpton Hotel Monaco DC, a Pride-themed suite (check it out on Instagram) is just the start. Supergay spirit cocktails, drag and Black Pride brunches, and an LGBTQ+-themed art makeover all say “you’re welcome here” loud and proud.
The boutique hotel brand was founded in queer haven San Francisco and partners with the Trevor Project. Those bona fides show this isn’t a Pride Month publicity stunt and that Kimpton stands by the LGBTQ+ community year-round.
“We’re far beyond the point where a flag is enough,” says Tanzella, who recommends checking whether hotels publicly post nondiscrimination policies or provide inclusivity training for staff.
LGBTQ+-friendly certification through IGLTA is a green flag so that vacation-goers can book with confidence.
Ask the locals
Sonoma, California calls itself “one of the gayest destinations in the world,” touting a county tourism board website that maintains an LGBTQ+ travel section geared toward helping visitors find rainbow bliss among the redwoods. While these websites are easy to overlook when planning trips, they are treasure troves of locally curated, up-to-date information.
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So, the next time you plan a trip, reach out. Employees have the inside scoop on LGBTQ+-friendly hotels and activities, and they’re more than happy to help you plan an epic trip.